Instagram Karissa VS The Real Karissa

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I keep on forgetting to mention that I reached 10K on Instagram the other day. I’m shocked I haven’t blurted out those words yet to anyone. The reality is, I find reaching 10K pretty cool but I’m so relieved that I don’t let the number of subscribers or followers on any of my social media handles consume me. I don’t stay awake at night counting the number of likes on post or waiting for the next follower to discover me. No. It’s not like that at all. I’ve always been visual and loved taking pictures. When I look back, I’ve always been somewhat good at social media. I remember back in the good ole MySpace days, I was always being told how much people loved my page set-up and my photos which are now called “selfies.” I guess you can say that I have a raw talent for the internet. It’s so silly when I hear myself say it out loud. Social media has been an incredible platform for my blog. I’m able to reach so many of you on a more personal level. Because of Instagram, I can express my creativity more freely and I’ve been able to drive business from it. Best of both worlds. I’m still waiting for the day I get noticed and someone important sends me off to travel the world, wearing cute designer clothes and taking pictures for Instagram. (Ya right Karissa.) But really, that’s happened to a few of my Fashion Blogger icons. Sincerely Jules, one of my first blogger inspirations, was just doing her own thing on her blog and one day it became an empire. She lives in L.A. for the most part but she’s constantly traveling the world and living it up. Because of her blog success she is now a designer. Like seriously? That’s just one of many fashion blog success stories that I wanted to share. I don’t know if I will ever make it that big. I wouldn’t mind it at all but honestly, I won’t beat myself up if I don’t. I think that is the biggest misconception about me, that all I want is internet fame. Nope, ew, no thank you. I’ve gotten over 10,000 followers on Instagram simply by BEING MYSELF. I think that’s something to be proud of for sure but I won’t let any amount of followers get to my head or more importantly, to my heart. I have a lot of people who look to me for fashion inspiration and trust me, I feel the pressure of it all. Last Saturday I was approached by not one but THREE of my blog subscribers. THREE! Strangers that I had never seen before came up to me saying “Are you Karissa Marie?”

Wuw. What is life right now? I had no idea I was capable of impacting so many of you. It’s an honor to be recognized for the things that I do and for the person that I am. But if I’m being completely honest: I don’t feel appreciated outside of the internet world. I’ve bent over backwards, shown all sorts of my creativity and my kindness and my willingness to GROW to all kinds of people and even though, yes, I do get praised for it, praise is NOT what I’m looking for. I’m looking for a career people. I’m looking for my dream job or at least a step in that direction. I don’t know if it’s just Denver or if it’s just me but I don’t feel appreciated here. My lease to my apartment is up in 3 months and I could not be more excited to pack my bags and hopefully go somewhere where my talent can make an impact and a difference. Somewhere I can throw myself into projects and be surrounded by like-minded people. I really think my age has something to do with the fact that I haven’t gotten a decent job here in Denver. But that’s SO NOT FAIR. I have a lot to give. I just need a chance and an opportunity to prove myself.

YOU CAN’T FAKE CREATIVITY. 

So here I am, in the same position I was in last year and the year before: Lost. I’ve been lost for a few years now and I’ve reached the point where I question if I always will be lost. Will my brain be stuck in a state of limbo for the rest of my life? I’ve been “stuck” forever now. The only thing difference is that I have a few more followers. I’m ready for a better, more positive outlook on my life. I ready for better, more uplifting friendships. I’m ready for a better job but more importantly a better self.

I just felt like being honest today. I felt like typing up all my feelings and posting it on my page because it will make me feel better for just a few minutes before I go back to my life of disappointment. My biggest fear is making a living out of something that doesn’t truly make me happy. I want to make a living doing spiritually, emotionally, and mentally fulfilling work.

I fear a job that squashes my creative juices into oblivion. 

I need a sign. Any sign that says I am here on this planet for a reason. A literal sign that points in the direction that I should go would be helpful as well because I have no clue what life has in store for me. I don’t even have the slightest hint.

So thank you, 10,oo0 + followers, THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart for believing in me but I think my biggest accomplishment will be whether or not I can believe in myself.

With love,

Karissa Marie

Top. Skirt. Fedora.

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12 thoughts on “Instagram Karissa VS The Real Karissa

  1. I admire your honesty in this post Karissa! I know exactly how you are feeling. Maybe it is Denver?!!? I have also always put myself down, I’m not good enough to be one of the big name bloggers, i’m not good enough to be a designer, i’m not good enough to make it in NYC. But what if I did and I just never gave myself the chance?!!? Thank you so the inspiration Karissa! You are truly amazing! 🙂

  2. I really like this post, not only you are beautiful outside but you are so beautiful down to earth honest on the inside. I watched all of you videos and I subscribed instantly cause of you wonderful bubbly personality, I love when people make me smile and you’re one of those 😉 Keep up the good work I know you’re be successful what ever you decide is a right thing for you to do! xo doll

  3. Thanks so much for writing this. I discovered your blog recently and I really love it. But I struggle with the same thoughts and feelings often and it’s rare that bloggers show a more vulnerable side. Most people become so obsessed with making their lives appear perfect that they forget how comforting it is when they admit it’s not. I feel lost in my life as well and it’s disconcerting in so many ways. I hope all us lost souls figure it out – I know we have a lot to offer ❤

  4. You are inspirational, Karissa! I appreciate that you are putting your honest thoughts out there and showing that at the end of the day, people are real human beings behind the beautiful instagram photos. I found your blog recently and love that you are a fashion blogger in Denver because I am a Denverite myself. However, opportunities sometimes do take time, perhaps even a leap of faith, and I hope that you do end up exactly where you want to be soon. If Denver ends up not being where you ultimately want to be, I still hope that you know you made an impact and a difference in at least one person here.

  5. You are BEAUTIFUL in every way possible. You have so much raw talent and potential and it can’t be contained, and when others see it, they want it, their intimidated by it. You have every right to brag about this accomplishment, but you won’t because you’re too humble and sweet. There’s always going to be people out there that will claw and scratch at you to bring you down, but the simple fact that you don’t do tht to others, shows what kind of person you are on the inside. I love you.

  6. Though the tone of this comment is contentious, I can rationalize why this was being said. The comment in the blog about having “more drive and bigger dreams” can feel like a jab to those in fashion school, very well likely, the same people who are reading the blog. I think this person was trying to defend that many of your readers are fashionistas who are working in the same creative direction but by no means are they less inspired or less driven to reach their career goals. Fashion is competitive and in actuality, many people are feeling the very same struggle of trying hard and going unnoticed in ANY career. It’s astonishingly cliche to say, but it really takes time and perseverance. I also think it would of much greater value if you responded to your more positive comments rather than focusing on the disagreeable ones. You definitely have glimmer in your eyes and a unique spark that will propel you forward, so keep pushing! You’ll do great.

  7. Karissa!
    I know we didn’t know each other much in high school, but you are seriously so cute and I love your posts. You are so unique and genuine and I don’t doubt that you will do big things and find your true happiness. Keep it up girl and don’t get yourself down, you’re a rockstar! I live in utah, FASHION BLOGGER CENTRAL!!! You’re blowing them out of the water 🙂 brag all you want girly, you are CUTE! keep it up girl.

  8. Karissa, thanks for sharing your story! I am like you- just putting my thoughts into words and sharing with others always makes me feel better. Girl you’ve got talent coming out of your ears and I don’t think there is any limit to what you can achieve, blogging or otherwise! I have lived in many cities and different parts of the country, and there is definitely something to be said for moving and trying new cities because each one will inspire you in a new way! Follow your heart and I know you will find what you’re looking for. Trust me, you won’t feel lost forever, but sometimes that “lost” feeling is exactly what we need to set us on the right path. You’ve got what it takes to do ANYTHING you want, so just know that girl! Sending you lots of love! Xo Lacey

  9. Pingback: Pink Punch | Karissa Marie

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