Category Archives: My life

Moving in with my boyfriend?

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Where do I begin? No really, someone help me figure this out. For the last 6 months (ha, more like the last 20 years) I’ve been struggling with my next step. Will I go back to school? Will I move again? Will I find an amazing opportunity and take risks? Will I work for a fashion magazine? …And the biggest question of all: Will I move in with my boyfriend?

 

 

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Here’s a little backstory if you’re new to my blog. My boyfriend Wyatt and I have been together for nearly 6 years. He’s my best friend, my rock, my sunshine. He’s where I will be for the rest my life. Period. We are the perfect match even though we’re complete opposites. We’ve been laughing and dancing in public since the 9th grade and it’s never stopped. He’s my favorite person to share my stories with, vent with, giggle with, eat with, cry with…he’s everything to me. I have no doubt in my mind that he is the one for me. I’m a better person because of him.

 

 

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My dilemma. Every single friend I have lives with their boyfriend. Every movie I watch on T.V., couples live together like its no big deal. Both of my older brothers did it. But on the other hand, I have my mothers voice of wisdom in my ear, constantly whispering to not move in until I AM MARRIED. So please understand why I am so confused. I don’t know what to do. My brain says move in. It’s financially smart at the moment. But my heart says no, don’t move in. Ever since I was a little girl I’ve always wanted to wait to move in with someone until we were married. It’s been my life goal, honestly. I was taught that it was the “right” way to do things. I knew it was gonna be hard but I didn’t know it was going to be this hard. I have one parent saying move in and the other saying the opposite. I’m an adult that cannot make my own decisions. Someone please make it for me because I’m terrified that I will choose wrong. I mean it’s 2014 people. Everyone lives together. So why is it so hard for me to make that decision?

 

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Pros of living with your boyfriend

-It’s like a slumber party EVERY. SINGLE. NIGHT

-Cheaper rent

-Making memories in our OWN little place

-Breakfast every morning…made by him. 😉

– We could coordinate outfits… hehe

– Use less gas from driving back and forth between places

– Waking up to his beautiful, mouth wide open, face

-Feeling safe

-Movie night- Sunday through Saturday

-Our place would be clean 24/7 because Wyatt is a clean freak

– We would have so much more room for activities!

Okay, next.

Cons of living with your boyfriend 

-Random smells. That is all.

No, I’m kidding.

-No where to escape from arguments. (It’s a girl thing.)

-I couldn’t have my clothes thrown every where but there’s really nothing else I can do about that one. Clothes will be thrown…..EVERYWHERE.

-Not being original. Choosing the easier way.

-Biggest one of all: I would feel like I let myself and my family down.

 

IMG_3365So here we are…Will I or will I not move in with my boyfriend. That is the question my friends. I have to make my mind up within the next 48 hours because my lease is up very soon. I will keep you all updated when the decision is made. My question to all of you is…What would you do?

 

Go.

|My Top|

28.

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Today is my brother J.J.’s birthday. He would have been 28. Twenty-eight years ago God brought the sweetest, funniest, and most loving person into this world. This person shaped me and molded me into who I am today. Sometimes I like to think that he was brought here just for me. To be my guardian angel. Like a messenger or something. To teach me about life and love. And when J.J. knew that I was ready to take on the world by myself, he left. I really do believe that sometimes.

I haven’t had a bad day in awhile. Just a lot of bad moments. These moments catch me off guard every single time because I forget that I actually lost him. I still think he’s out there somewhere…making someone laugh. I go about my day just fine. I make my breakfast, go to work, hang out with friends and than out of no where…boom. It hits me like train. It’s all random too. I’ll be folding shirts at work and I’ll think of him. I lose my breath sometimes just thinking that he’s really gone. The vivid pictures in my head won’t go away. Who? What? When? Where? And the biggest question of all…why? Why did he have to die. The last time I saw him replays in my mind over and over again. Why can’t I have that moment back? If I could have any moment in time back it would be that one. I would tell him that I loved him more than anything. I would hug him and probably never let him go. I would kiss him on the cheek one last time. I would probably laugh at one of his silly jokes. I wouldn’t say goodbye, I would say see ya. My biggest regret in my life was not doing any of those things. I have to live with the fact that I didn’t tell him I loved him when he left. Does he know?

November 7th will never be a normal day. Every year on this day I will always be in a state of wonder. What would he have wished for as he would have blown out his candles? What kind of car would he have driven? What kind of job would he have had? What girl would have his heart? What would be his favorite song on the radio? What would he have had for lunch today? Does he still like the color blue? Does he still love cheese on top of his soup? Does he like Taylor Swift’s new song? Would he like to go on a walk with me today? What does he want for Christmas this year? Is he happy?

I know I shouldn’t do that to myself. Trust me, I’ve tried pushing him away from my thoughts. I’ve tried skipping the songs that remind me of him. I’ve tried avoiding all memories of him completely, the happy ones and the sad ones. But it doesn’t work. I end up building everything up inside until I eventually explode. Talking about him is my therapy. If I had someone to talk to about him I would talk about him all day long. Another kind of therapy for me, as of lately, is that I like to put on a song that he would like and make up dances in my head that we would have danced to. Me and him just dancing hip hop or whatever routine we would wanna do. We would be totally in sync and just jamming out. We would be YouTube famous, I know it. I wake up from my daydream to find that it didn’t happen and it won’t ever happen. It’s when reality hits and I can’t stand it but for a second I’m completely okay.

He gives me these moments. Short but very very special. Moments of clarity and peace.  I will keep them with me forever. In one of my recent dreams he told me, “Karissa, don’t worry about what happened. I’m okay. I’m okay.” He comes to me in my sleep when my reality is a nightmare just to see how I’m doing or to say I love you…and then he’s gone. He still continues to make me smile. How you ask? He always finds a way. Whether it’s a heart shaped cloud with a smiley face in the middle (yes, that actually happened) or it’s just the sound of his voice, he somehow manages to get a smile out of me. When J.J. was alive he gave me my favorite days and I’m so grateful for that.

28. I love you.

 

 

 

 

365 Days in the Dark.  

25 Fun Facts About Us

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25 fun facts about Wyatt and I.

  1. We started dating on March 4th, 2009. (5.5 years ago, ca-razy!)
  2. Said our “I loves you’s” two weeks later. (Hey, we obviously meant it.)
  3. Our favorite T.V. show is Big Bang Theory.
  4. Wyatt loves his mornings and I love my nights. Early bird + insomniac = true love
  5. My biggest pet peeve about him is that he’s constantly do weird things with his mouth.
  6. His biggest pet peeve about me is…he apparently can’t think of one right now. (mmm-hmm sure)
  7. Wyatt’s a CLEAN FREAK and I, sadly, am the messy one.
  8. Calling us dog lovers is an understatement.
  9. Karissa- Optimistic Wyatt- Realistic
  10. We’re completely opposite people down to the smallest things.
  11. But our morals and values are identical.
  12. He eats chicken & veggies all day long while I’m over here eating hot fries & chocolate strawberries.
  13. I’m the funny one in this relationship. (He won’t like that one, but its true.)
  14. He’s more scared of spiders than I am.
  15. Steve Carrell is our favorite.
  16. I sing to him in the car (totally off key) daily.
  17. Wyatt has the best luck and I definitely don’t.
  18. He taught me how to drive a stick shift in a black slug bug when we were 15 in the middle of no where.
  19. We laugh more than we breathe.
  20. Wyatt’s a Taurus and I’m a Virgo.
  21. I still wear my promise ring that he gave me 4.5 years ago.
  22. Our favorite thing to do is dinner and a movie.
  23. Our nicknames are so embarrassingly cute. I dont even know why I’m typing this right now. We call each other Booger Sugar, or Sugar Booger. Oh gosh, I’m gonna regret that one.
  24. He took me on a helicopter ride around our city and had “Prom?” in lights on the ground. (Spoiled? Yes.)
  25. We’re each others best best friends and we love each other unconditionally.

DSC_0129copy DSC_0132_2copy DSC_0138_2copy DSC_0167copyDSC_0250copy DSC_0172_2copy DSC_0174_2copy DSC_0208copy DSC_0259_2copyDSC_0265_2copyDSC_0199_2copyAnother fact, Aspen from Aspen Groen Media took these breathtaking photos. I adore them. She captured us impeccably. I can’t wait to look back, 80 years from now, and look at these photos and know exactly where we were at in our lives and in our relationship. He’s my best friend. I love him and I love these photos. Thank you Aspen. Check her stuff out —> Facebook | Website

My Dress | His Top 

Xoxo,

Karissa

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