I gravitate towards splashes and blocks of color. I think most artists do. I may not be the painting kind of artist, even though I used to be in high school and HEY! I was pretty good at it. I have a few paintings in my parents storage to prove it. But I am in fact an artist in many other forms. For example: I’m a cookie artist. A guacamole artist. A doodle artist. A lipstick artist. A freelance writer-artist. A dry shampoo artist. An under qualified and un-paid apparel/editorial artist. And even a chocolate strawberry artist but look, I’m an artist none the less. Being an artist is simply creating something out of nothing. It’s seeing beauty in all shapes and sizes. I think we all have an artist somewhere inside of us. Others just pursue it more passionately than others. I see art everywhere I go. Not in a hippie way (no offense to the hippies) but I see beauty, color and chaos in everything. I think that makes me so high strung more than half of the time. My brain never stops.
I’ve never been good at math or science. I was always so ashamed that I never quite got that part of high school. One incident that has always stuck in my head was on my first day of Chemistry class. I sat down next to a girl that I THOUGHT was my friend and she gives me this look, like I was an alien or something. The next words that fell out of her mouth have still kind of haunted me to this day. She said, “Um, this is Chemistry class…Are you sure you belong here?” Ouch. I ran to bathroom and cried. Did I really have the word ‘Dummy’ written across my forehead? Let’s just say I switched classes immediately. From the day I started pre-school to my second year of college I was EXTREMELY hard on myself. I nearly punished myself every single time I didn’t get something 100% right. I was constantly insecure in my school work. I was constantly running to the girls bathroom to breathe and give myself a pep talk. I had nothing but A’s…but in my head that wasn’t good enough. My mom told me the other day that even before I started school I was ridiculously hard on myself. I’ve literally never stopped judging and punishing who I am. I have extremely high standards in all aspects of my life. Which I didn’t know that could be harmful until now. My mom said, “You don’t have to know it all Karissa. Just know the things that make you happy.” I was and am still always focusing on my weaknesses. When the whole time I could have learned to accept the fact that I am a right side brain user. Little did I realize that when we had projects in English, Science, Art Class and Social Studies that had anything to with color or creativity, everyone would want to be my parter. MY partner. My teachers knew I would shine when it came to these kind of projects but I had no idea. Writing poems, painting a canvas and creating slideshows were my thing. I even made one of my teachers CRY while presenting one of my “pieces of art.” I wish I could have given myself some credit. I wish I could have rewarded myself just a little more.
Here’s what I found a few weeks ago that I’m gonna put on my refridgerater to remind myself that it’s okay to not be a left brain thinker. It’s actually okay to be exactly who I am.
World, I’m not a left brain user. Don’t try and corrupt us who are right brain users. We have a purpose too. We can make a living too. We are important too. So put your hands high in sky whether you’re a left brain or a right brain and give yourself a little more credit. Love what you were given because I swear, what you were given was a gift.
Self acceptance.
Hey, I may be that dumb girl in chemistry class but at least I see life in more ways than just one.
Sincerely Your A+ Art Student,
©Karissa Marie
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