This moment right here. Being pregnant with our sweet rainbow baby brings me such a joy that it could ONLY be created by God himself. I am so in love with this family that we created, both in heaven and here Earth side. If I could bundle up my emotions and express to you all of my feelings into this one blog post, it would end up being a novel. Losing our twin boys was, without a doubt, the hardest moment in our lives but what sweet sweet love Jesus has for us to give us a rainbow in the middle of our storm. How incredible is He to never give up on us, to have a perfect plan for our lives. I told myself that before I turned 24, I would be married with about three kids. How miraculous that it came true. I’m a mama to three, not in the way I had expected it to be but in a way that God knew it would be. His way hasn’t been the easiest ON me but it’s the best FOR me. After losing my babies I thought I would have a heart of coal but oh how opposite that came to be. MY heart is FILLED with the love of the Holy Spirit. I look at things more beautiful than I did before, brighter than I did before. It took some time, these feelings didn’t happen overnight by any means. I had to walk through a valley of darkness, hand in hand with the devil himself to get to the top of the mountain where I currently reside. This rocky path to becoming a mother was HARD. The moments of complete defeat and isolation smothered me. I was certain that God forgot about me, forgot about my dreams of becoming a mother. He KNEW the kind of mother I needed to be and knew what it had to take to get me there. HE answered prayers I didn’t even know I had.
Thank you Jesus for all the moments it took to get me right here. The good, the bad, the heartbreaking….just Thank you for loving me the way that you do. Thank you for my husband Wyatt and our heavenly boys , Asa and Armie and for our rainbow baby. I LOVE this family of mine.
BIG THANK YOU to Winsome + Wright for always capturing the sweetest moments of my life. I love our friendship more than words.
We have less than a month to go until we meet our sweet, sweet baby. We could not be more thankful and more thrilled to become parents to our rainbow. We’ve been running around like crazy prepping for this baby. My third trimester has FLOWN by because everyday is jammed packed with things to finish before our little one gets here. Our nursery is about 90% complete, we just have a few little things here and there. We just had our baby shower this past Sunday which was an absolute dream come true. It took a team of people to accomplish and took a lot of prep time but the end result was absolutely something out of a movie! I can’t thank my friends and family enough for all their love and support. (Might put up a blog post about it. What do you think?)
While running a business, prepping for our baby, finishing house projects and trying to find time for our family and friends, Wyatt and I have forgotten about JUST US for a minute there. The only time I can think of where him and I can just breathe, cuddle and relax is right before bed and Sunday mornings. We’ve gotten a little distracted by all that’s going on in our lives to give our relationship a little TLC. I get so emotional when I think about how Wyatt and I have had the pleasure of being just him and I for 9 years. I’m so thankful for every memory with him and the journey it took for us to get right where we are. Now we embark on a new chapter of our lives and no I’m not crying while typing this, you are. Everything is about to change, it’s not just going to be us TWO anymore and there’s something so bittersweet about that.
Wyatt, I love you. I love the special time we’ve had together before becoming parents. I love every bit of our love story so far from our late night phone conversations when we were just 14 years old, to that time by your pond in your backyard when you first told me you loved me, to the car rides where we blasted the music and sang our hearts out even though you and I can’t sing at all, to that one time you proposed to me in Times Square, to our first dance at our wedding, to our big road trip across the country and struggling to pay rent in NYC, to the birth of our angel baby boys…to right now. I’ve loved it all. As we close this chapter and welcome in a new one, I just want to say that I love you beyond words and I cannot wait to see you as a daddy. You’re going to be so amazing at it.
BIG thank you to my dear friend, Nicolette from NicoletteYoung.Com for capturing our last moments as just the two of us in our home. We are so blessed to know her and call her our friend.
Nicolette Young Photography