Hello, it’s me. Happy (almost) New Year. So, 2013 was a beautiful heartbreak for me, I’ve had enough and I’m ready to begin 2014 with an open heart. Let’s wrap things up, shall we? Everyone has their own meaning to the new year this year. Everyone sets their own goals, their own standards and everyone has a list that they want to check off and be completed by the end of 2014. Would you like to know what’s on my list?
- To achieve happiness.
That’s it. You’re probably thinking… um ok? Well, let me explain. What is happiness to me? Happiness is something that I’ve struggled with my whole life. I can smile. I can laugh and I’ve been happy before but achieving happiness is something completely different. I want that “ discovering who I am” happiness. I want that “ believing anything is possible” happiness. I want that “ go to church and feel something” happiness. I want that “ I wish I were Carrie Bradshaw” happiness. I want that “ Look in the mirror and like myself” happiness. You see, I don’t want a whole a lot of money. I don’t want fancy things. I don’t want a life like Kim Kardashian. (JK, I love her.) Those things are nice but they’re not what makes me happy. What I’m looking for is within myself. Buried beneath my demons, buried beneath my fear. Somewhere inside of me is the happiness that I’ve been searching for my entire life.
Here’s a good start: I’ve learned to love the not-so-pretty stuff about myself. I’ve learned to accept that I can’t do certain things, like driving or eating sushi. (Gross) I’ve learned that the loss of my brother has taken a huge chunk of my heart and that I’ll spend my entire life searching for that missing piece. I know someday I’ll be me again. Maybe not today, maybe not in 2014 but someday, I promise. I promise that I will believe in myself again. I promise I will let go of my demons and my fears. I promise that, even though I am lost without with my brother and my dog, I will find the strength inside of me to move past that depression and anxiety and live. I will live because that’s what my brother would want me to do.
My happiness is here, I just have to find it. Not my mom, not my boyfriend, not even Harry Styles can find that happiness for me. I have to do it myself.
Countdown begins. 3…2…1
Let’s search.
With love,
Karissa Marie
P.s. J.J, 2014 is for you. I love you.
Karissa Marie 
I’m right there with you sweetie. Never lived a happy feeling life though I seem happy & fine on the outside. When in reality I am broken & lost & shattered on the inside. It’s encouraging to see others write about their realities like this, especially from a fellow fashion blogger. We love fashion, but we ultimately know looking good doesn’t make us necessarily feel happy-good on the inside. I just want to encourage you & say that you’re brave for surviving loss & you’re brave for admitting it still it hurts. I love reading about & seeing your outfits every morning & for that you have a great purpose in my life. You’ve inspired my style, my poses, & my thoughts. Thank you for braving through the storm & know that you have a friend here who struggles with the same, & that you’re not alone.
xo,
abbey kay
Luv U 💒…
I Luv Luv Luv U !!! I know in my Heart that U will let your Light shine in this world in many ways !!!Shine Baby Shine !!!Your favorite scripture” psalm 119:109 ” Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path”💒🌸🎇…Happy New Year , We Luv U ….dad,mom ,J.J ,Nick,Bella,Eli,Kiana,Kiera,Chachi….
I love you karissa! U are a strong beautiful and smart girl! I know 2014 is gonna be a great year for u!!! 😘😘😘
May the JOY OF THE LORD well up inside you and flow healing to all… through your pictures writing and blogging! Happy happy Happy New Year amen!!!
I absolutely love this! I lost someone I loved very much recently too my dog, Troy before Christmas. The road is tough, but with positivity, love, and beautiful people around you it gets much easier. I believe in you and that you can achieve the happiness you are searching for. I promise it’ll be completely and utterly beautiful when you have it too. You shine from the inside out already, I know you have more to show. Happy New Year, doll! You can do this!
Thanks for sharing this deeply honest post! Happiness is a choice though we often don’t see it this way. It is our perception creates our reality. So it’s your time to unleash it from within you!
All the best in 2014!
Amita Patel
http://www.AlignedHolistics.com